1 quarter down, 8 to go!

A couple nights ago I took out a "personality test" that I had done for Bethany when she was 4 months old. I was curious then - and still am now - how accurately you can tell a baby's personality, and whether it changes much as they get older. Well, guess what... 14 months later, I would answer almost the EXACT same answers for Bethany's personality! Kinda freaks me out a bit how much "personality" a baby has at only 4 months old. Maybe with the next kid I'll take it at 2 months and see how consistent THAT is a year and half later. :-) So here are a few of the most telling answers on the test, with quotations from the test that almost exactly describe her:

1) Activity Level: High! "She turns diaper changes into wrestling matches."
2) Sociability: YES. "She smiles and "coos" (now talks) at just about anyone!"
3) Adaptability: Nope, not so much. "She refuses to sleep anywhere but in her own crib." (Grandma & Nana's houses are the exceptions)
4) Intensity: Drama! "She makes her feelings known - loudly - with earthshaking cries."
5) Distractibility: Not easy. "It's hard to calm her down if she's not getting exactly what she wants, when she wants it." 

We had two doctor's visits today, one for each kid. We finally got to hear Baby #2's heartbeat, which was "loud as can be" according to the midwife! As far as we can tell, everything is progressing normally. Bethany, on the other hand, is still in the 20th percentile of weight - and 40th in height. She actually has not gained any weight at all since her 14 month appointment, which bothers me, but the pediatrician didn't seem too concerned.

Well, Todd has (seemingly) flown through his first quarter, and now he is off for an entire month! This is such a strange feeling - to have no school, and very little work, for a MONTH. Certainly different from the past several years, when he got 14 days of vacation for the entire year. We are so excited to be able to spend a week in Pittsburgh and then a week in Des Moines celebrating Christmases with family! I think we will be celebrating about four Christmases, between both of our families and extended family reunions.

In school news, I have decided that subbing in special ed classrooms is my favorite, hands down. There just is no comparison between a class of 30 rowdy 5th graders and a class of 7 sweet special ed kids. Plus, between the slower pace of the classes and the TAs, the teaching end of things is so much simpler - much more hands on and individualized. I think if I would have been exposed to a special ed classroom before I got my education degree, I would very seriously have considered switching from English to special ed!

And in other work news... Todd found a job doing taxes at a small CPA firm only 10 minutes from our house. And the amazing part is that the guy who is hiring him is willing to let him work only 10 hours a week, even though he originally was looking for someone to work full-time during tax season! (He probably will still hire someone else full-time... so now he's hiring two people instead of one).

The beautiful bunch of alstroemeria that Todd brought home for me last week... The green is a very welcome contrast to all of the white outside!

My favorite "Christmas spot" in our house. Since we're going to be gone for over two weeks, we decided not to get a tree this year... so every evening we sing carols around the nativity instead. Not bad. :-)

Bethany in her first Christmas-y dress of the season... which I think was given to us when she was a newborn.

Bethany Updates

Okay, it's time for some Bethany updates.

• Does anyone else have (or used to have) a moody-picky eater?  One day Bethany loves hot dogs, and the next day she won't touch them. The stand-by foods for her are mandarin oranges, plain tortillas, cheese pizza, and peanut butter (licked from a piece of bread or an apple - or just her plate). But other than that, I never know what will make it in her mouth and what will end up smashed on her tray or on the floor. I do know that meat will NOT make it in her mouth - even chicken only lasts for a bite or two before it gets spit back out. She does love any kind of "sauce", though - ketchup, spaghetti sauce, applesauce, or anything else dippable - and will happily lick it off of the food that it's on. 
  
• Bethany is imitating us like crazy these days! Even our voice inflections and non-verbals come back in her interpretations.  The other day she was talking to herself in her crib before I got her up, and I heard her asking herself one-word questions and replying to herself with "mm-hmm" exactly the way I answer her when she keeps saying something over and over. 
• She still mixes up sounds in words occasionally. The most recent one is "nos" for "snow." 
• I usually know when Bethany is doing something wrong, because I hear her quietly say to herself, "No, no, no!" I have to stop laughing before I go see what she's up to. 

Bethany & Co. 

Bethany (in her butterfly/fairy - you decide - halloween costume), with "Noni' and "Tay-tay" (our down-the-hall neighbors)

Bethany and Sam (our upstairs neighbor)

Why won't they both smile at the same time?

Stylin' in her "gasses"

Bethany and Aleah (born two weeks apart, both with red-ish hair)

My favorite pic... kiss, kiss! 

Subbing and separation anxiety

I knew that I would have crazy stories to tell from substitute teaching, but I didn't think they would be quite THIS crazy. Today was my first day, and I ended up in a special ed classroom with five teachers aides and seven students. The students were very low functioning, but the teachers weren't trying to accomplish much with them today, so we did a lot of talking while the students sat quietly, played, or watched movies. (I would have been horrified at how little teaching happened today if the students hadn't been SO low functioning. It felt more like daycare than school).

Anyways, there was another sub there besides me, and while we were talking she told me that last month she had been texting with her boyfriend while he was riding his bike (I don't even know how you would text while riding a bike, but maybe I'm just not coordinated enough!)... when he got in an accident and died. What?! Imagine the guilt from knowing that you helped cause someone's death. But she couldn't attend his memorial service because she had already booked a cruise (her "divorce party", she called it). And while she was in the airport on her way to her cruise, she met another guy - who she is now dating. She claims to be Mormon/Jewish (yes, both)... and she has teenage daughters. What are her daughters learning from all of this?! I heard some crazy stories in YoungLives, but not like this... or maybe I was just used to their style of "crazy". It just is almost unbelievable the lives that other people are living - while I am focused on my comparably tiny worries and living a comparably very enviable life.

So with that, back to my life. :-) By now you may have heard that we are expecting Baby #2 in mid-June. No morning sickness, but lots of sleepiness. Bethany dutifully kisses my belly when we tell her to kiss the baby - that's "faith like a child" for you! Needless to say, we are very excited to have a new little one joining our family.

I am going to try to sub between 1 1/2 and 2 days a week, which will be hard for me. Bethany had a hard time having me gone all day today - Todd said she asked about me a lot, and he kept having to distract her. Between sleeping in and napping, she really was only consciously away from me for about five hours, but that feels like a lot. To me. Yes, Bethany is not the only one with separation anxiety! I have it, too! I'm her mommy, and I want to be with her. Even though I do sometimes get a little bored trying to keep her entertained with "This little piggy", reading the same books over and over, and building/knocking over towers, I still want to be the full-time mommy! After today, I am totally impressed with you working moms! (Not that I wasn't already ;-). I'm just thankful that my schedule is so flexible and that I'll only be working a couple days a week.

And I have a request for those of you who made it to the end of this post... or those of you who skipped down to the end. Please leave a comment! I feel like I am writing to a crowd of blank faces. I often get comments on it, or someone will know something about my life that they could have only known from this blog, so I know you're reading this! So speak up and don't be a stalker. ;-)

Never done that before...

I started a new job last week - and called this morning to give my two weeks' notice. It felt very strange - I've never, EVER quit something that abruptly. I think the only other times I've ever quit a job were because of moving out of town or starting YoungLives! Most of the other jobs I've had have ended before I did. :-) Kidz Own PlayZone shut down because of money issues, the tutoring center closed because of money issues, summer jobs were usually just seasonal, etc. Maybe I did quit Wendy's... but I only worked there to raise money for a missions trip, and then I didn't need it any more.

Anyways - this job involved going to two different schools for two hours each before school and after school, four days a week. Between the commute, getting Bethany ready for a baby-sitter (or for Daddy), staff meetings, and extra classes that they wanted us to take, it was a much bigger time committment than I was ready for. Plus, it was really hard on Bethany to have Mommy coming in and out twice a day every day.

I did get my teaching license in the mail (after one and a half weeks, not eight like they said), and because of this teaching job, I had the connections to also be able to sign up to become a substitute teacher. I think I got about five subbing calls over the weekend, so I'm pretty sure that I'll be able to sub once or twice a week (or even half-days). Plus, the pay is better for subbing - I'll actually earn almost the same amount by subbing one day a week than I would have earned by working before and after school four days a week. And if I have a rough class, at least I only have to be there for a day! I have never had any desire to be a substitute teacher, but right now it's sounding pretty good. :-)

In other news, Bethany has started saying her own name (Bet-doddy), and she LOVES to mimic me when I say "Okay" or "Just a minute". She's starting to understand bigger concepts, too, like "heavy" and "loud" and dark/light. Todd and I have been pointing out colors and counting objects with her, and she's just about got "yellow" down. Sometimes we overhear her "counting" to herself (wuh, doo...). I think she's a 16-month old genius. ;-)

Todd is in his "Reading Weeks" now - two weeks of no classes, but lots of studying. It's a nice change of pace, but we'll see how it goes trying to study full-time with no set structure or schedule. Classes provide a nice "finish line" each day where you know that everything needs to be ready to discuss/turn in.

No pictures this time, but one of my neighbors did just post some picture of our Seminary Village "Fall Festival" yesterday on facebook. There a couple cute ones of Bethany in there!

Fall, winter, and other changing seasons...

A few pictures from our brief fall...

Bethany and her friend Maddie

My little explorer - has stick, will travel... into the marsh!

Hello, winter!

Bethany's first real snow experience. She looked a lot like the little brother in

Christmas Story when she tried to walk in the snow!

"Wheee!"

Yes, winter came much earlier this year than it has in the past 20 years! We don't mind though... yet. In March we may not be so happy that winter has lasted for 6 months!

Bethany is completely fascinated with "Noni" (Noah), the 4 year old who lives down the hall. She asks about him pretty much every day, and races for a hug when he comes to visit. We'll have to get a picture up soon... she's over-the-top excited about him! Bethany likes to play with his little sister, 2 year old Taylor, too, but she especially likes to play with her toys. ;-)

I had an interview for a part-time job helping to teach at a program for elementary age ESL students, so I'm waiting to hear back about that. The hours would work well with Todd's schedule, and it's nearby, so those are both pluses.

I've been getting more and more discouraged about having so little monthly income... I knew it would be a shock to go from two incomes to one part-time income, but I guess I didn't realize how frustrating it would be to not have the security of a stable income. Welcome to the real world, Rebecca! We've been so blessed - so much more than even many Americans are. 

The community here is just incredible, the classes are relevant and interesting to Todd, Bethany is having a blast, and we're making and growing lots of new friendships. If it weren't for the gnawing "Where is the money going to come from? But I don't WANT it to come out of our savings!" in the back (or front) of my mind, this would be like heaven.

So why do I let this bother me so much? Why can't I just relax and be comfortable knowing that God provided us with a scholarship to pay for tuition and the ability/savings to go without a big income?
Todd and I did some personality/emotional assessments during orientation week, and we went to our first "interpretation" of those assessments with a clinical psychologist this morning. It was great - she helped us to see our personal strengths/weaknesses, how they relate to each other, and how they relate to future ministry. But one thing that it revealed was my high anxiety level and Todd's very low anxiety level. He is so calm in the face of stress, and I freak out a little too much. So I can just keep reassuring myself that my tendency is to overreact... so it's not as bad as it seems.

Plus, God ironically placed a devotional in yesterday's Daily Bread that I'm sure was just put there for me. Check out your Daily Bread - it's probably not there in yours. :-) Anyway, the point was that although we don't need to be thankful FOR everything, we should be thankful IN every circumstance, because God is always behind the scenes to work things out for good. "Giving thanks in difficult circumstances is a small detail that makes a big difference." I'm trying. We really have SOO much to be thankful for, and nothing to worry about. (The only thing "difficult" about this circumstance is my own stubbornness in wanting even more financial security than we already have). There's a thankful seed that I need to just keep watering...

Rainy here...

This wet weather makes me feel like I'm back home in Pittsburgh! That combined with the gorgeous trees changing color all over campus... I really don't feel too far away.

Mom & Dad and Ben came to visit last weekend, and I have to admit that I cried when they left. When Bethany saw "Nana", she reached for her and gave her the biggest, longest hug ever! Then she just sat in her lap and cuddled... which is NOT normal for my very wiggly child. It makes me so sad that Bethany can't go over to Nana and Papa's house every week for dinner or just for some playtime. But it sure was nice to have them here for three whole days! We toured the Mall of America, ate out, showed them around campus, watched home videos, and even played some frisbee golf. It was a GREAT weekend.

I took my completed application over to the Minnesota Department of Education today, and they said it would be 6-8 weeks before I get my certification. I can't even substitute until I get that piece of paper, so I'm back to looking for other options for the next month or two. Todd had an interview at a temp agency last week, and he is now on their roster - but they told him to keep looking on his own as well, since they can't guarantee what openings they'll have.

I also talked to the Young Life Regional Director up here, and he definitely sounded interested in getting YoungLives going. There is only one YoungLives in the whole region right now, and that one is about an hour away from me. The only catch is that YoungLives only pays if I raise the money... which also takes time. But I can't stop noticing teen moms everywhere I go, which tells me that this ministry is still definitely on my heart!!

Let's see... in other news, this past Sunday we drove 40 minutes to see our friend Nick lead worship at his (huge) church, but we were ten minutes late - and we missed the worship! They had so much else going during the service that they had had to cut worship down to 12 minutes. Hehehe... we couldn't believe it. Anyway, Nick's going to get us a copy of the worship, and we got to have lunch nearby with Todd's grandma, so it was still a great day. :-)

Todd is studying a lot now for classes, but it is SOO nice to have him home so much! Even though he is studying, he's still here, and we can talk and eat lunch together, and he can take his homework and Bethany down to the playground. I know that farther on into the quarter he will be busier than he is now, so I'm just enjoying the low stress levels for now.

The answer is no.

I guess I'm not ready to be super vulnerable with my blogging yet, because I just couldn't bring myself to write about Todd's "perfect" job last week when they called and left a message telling him that they were no longer considering him for the position. I had to process first. And now that I've processed... and prayed... and talked it out with Todd and parents and close friends, we wonder if maybe God had a hand even in this. Maybe it sounds funny to say that. "Maybe God had a hand even in this"... you might say that of COURSE God had a hand in it! But in my mind, it has not been so obvious. The job was at a church only 10 minutes away, doing something Todd could see himself doing after seminary, working in the same building as his uncle, only 20 hours a week, etc, etc. I couldn't picture a better set-up. When Todd called me to tell me that he hadn't gotten the job, it made me wonder if we had even made the right decision to move here. We haven't been able to close on our house yet, so we're paying rent & a mortgage - and then Todd's one very promising job lead gets slammed shut.

The very strange thing is that in the midst of, and almost overcoming, those doubts and even the grief, was a peace that I can't explain. Maybe it was naivete or a numbness, but I think it may have been God's way of reassuring me that He is still in control. And the thoughts that have comforted us since last week have been many... Other students tell us that it's too much to try to work 20 hours and take a full course load, we can now choose our own church to attend (rather than go where Todd works), that job wouldn't have been very relational - it would have been more administrative, Todd will have more time to volunteer and study if I work part-time instead of him, we do have savings (although it would nice to still have some savings when we're done here!), etc. 

The plan now is that I will continue to do YoungLives part-time long-distance, and possibly here in St. Paul as well. I'm also working on transferring my teaching certification to MN so that I can substitute teach. Subbing is flexible enough that I can hopefully work two or three days a week around Todd's schedule. He will watch Bethany when he's not in class, and we may try to work something out with a neighbor for the times that he is in class.

I think the hardest part about this was the fact that we feel like maybe Todd could have gotten the job if we had prepared more for the 2nd interview... but we didn't know what to prepare for, or that the 2nd interview would be so formal, and there's no way of knowing what could have happened. It's so unlike us to not prepare like crazy for an interview. But as Todd said during one of our conversations, "Maybe it was God who made us forget to prepare, because that's not where He wanted us."

Well, that's where we are now.

On a lighter note, here are a few recent observations I've had:
-It is now in the upper 40s to mid 50s. People are still wearing shorts (with sweatshirts). I would like to tell them that that's not going to prolong summer, it's just going to make their legs cold!
-Bethany, at 15 months, is in a super-cute phase of life right now. She pumps her fist while chanting "Daddy, Daddy" (or sometimes "Mommy, Mommy") and is saying "I wub oo" (I love you) and "where aw oo" (where are you) along with our names.
-Our upstairs neighbors were visiting a couple nights ago when we (as we often do) had a rush of bubbles fill our kitchen sink. Suddenly, they realized that they had just emptied the dishwater from their sink... so they smelled the bubbles, and discovered that they were theirs.

Guess who?

Bethany is really into imitating us these days... I have to be careful what I do around her! Todd and I often catch her walking around by herself repeating back to herself a sound that she just heard one of us say. Can you guess who she's copying in these pictures?

(Great Grandma Asper - Bethany found her cane and couldn't resist!)

(Daddy - she had already tried taking a few steps before Todd caught her and started helping her)

(Mommy - Bethany loves her "new" purse, but we need to get her her own keys so she doesn't lose mine...)

Bethany and I are hanging out at Grandma A's house in Des Moines with my sisters-in-law and Bethy's cousins while Todd and the boys go to L.A. to visit Todd's brother Jon Marc and go to some baseball games. Somehow all the girl cousins and aunt Mari ended up with the same outfit on our first day here... how cute!!

Bethany, Grace & Rachel with aunt Mari

On a slightly more serious note, please pray for Todd & his potential job at a nearby church. He had a second interview on Wednesday, and they told him that they would let him know within a couple of days. We haven't heard yet, and to be honest, we're getting nervous... the position seems like SUCH a perfect fit for Todd, and we're praying that the pastors have discernment and wisdom in this process.

Here we are!

First impressions/experiences:

• The walls in our apartment are not stark white - they have a little creamy/beige-y color in them. That makes me happy, since we aren't allowed to paint. (That tells you a lot about me that that's my first bullet point! There's just something about color that fascinates me... :-)
  
• I don't like the ants that I find crawling around the food that Bethany drops in the kitchen. At least the ant traps are slowing them down a bit.
• We have met great people here!! There are two other young families in our building who also just moved here from out of state, and we have spent a lot of time together watching the kids play at the playground, eating together, going to church, and hanging out after the kids are in bed.
  
• Plus, between Todd's cousins, grandma, aunts and uncles, and parent's friends, we have had plenty of people to eat out with, watch Vikings games with (we can root for the Vikings when they're playing the Browns, right?), and explore town with. 
• Yesterday we had a fun adventure with some friends of Todd's parents who are also seminary students. They took us to the St. Paul farmer's market - which was such a colorful, delicious-smelling experience in itself - but on the way back, we drove past the "Hmong Marketplace" and decided to check it out. It was a true outdoor market with fruits we had never tasted, music we had never heard, and a huge variety of ethnic clothing and foods. We felt like we were in another country!
• We are loving the fact that our baby monitor works in our new friends' apartments... we have already started talking about taking turns "watching the monitor" for each other so that we can go on late-night dates after the kids are in bed!
• We visited what is possibly the largest "charismatic Lutheran" church in the world this morning, and really liked it. It's the same church that Todd has a 2nd interview at for a position as an Adult Ministries Assistant. I've been to a few huge churches before and didn't feel comfortable, but I loved the worship at this one, the message definitely spoke to me, and there are lots of ways to get involved.
• I LOVE, LOVE the variety of free activities that are around here and that I can take Bethany to in the winter to get her out of the apartment. We have a really nice mall just a few miles down the road, and the Mall of America isn't too far away and is a really fun place to make a cheap half-day trip out of. Plus, we have a "free" (donations requested) zoo, conservatory, and Japanese garden just 15 minutes away!! The zoo is definitely a lot smaller than a typical city zoo, but it has all the animals that a toddler would care about! Lions, zebras, giraffes, monkeys, fish, flamingoes, tigers, leopards, and more. What fun!
• There's much more I could say, but I'll leave it at that for now. God is good to us and is providing for so many of our physical and emotional needs... in spite of my hesitance to take this big step!
  

 

I may dress Bethany in girly outfits, but when it comes to playing outside, she LOVES playing with the gravel and tractors at the playground on campus!!

 

You can see our LR & DR windows in the bottom right-hand corner of the building (in front of the fire hydrant... and right next to the front doors)

Living Room

  

Bethany's little "play nook" behind the couch and in front of the window. She can stand on the pew and watch people come in and out of the building!

Dining Room

 

My Itsy-Bitsy Kitchen